Wall(s)

As in, "hitting a wall."

Gee, guys, I do wish I had lots of good news to report. But sadly, no. Instead I am stuck digging our family out of a hole.

Fiscal prudence is something I am really not that great at. My dad is used to thinking I am good at it, but that's not really true. He's basing his understanding on the fact that when I was younger I scraped by on very little and then I inherited some money, so I've never had to ask him. Well, once, I was in desparate straits (like, virtually homeless) and I asked him for a loan, but he said no, I had to suffer the consequences of my actions, blah blah blah. So what does he know?

Anyway, that inheritance I mentioned was big. It paid for my law school and living expenses, it paid for my wedding, it paid for a wicked safari to Africa (I think the best money I spent), it paid the down payment on our house and has been supplementing my husband's income while he worked his way up the ranks and while I get established as a solo attorney.

And now? It's almost gone.

So, I decided to sit down and have a really good look at our finances. Query: will the money last until our joint incomes are enough to support us? Answer: if everything went our way, and we dramatically cut our expenses, ... maybe.

So, after some sleepless nights, much pencil-waggling, and tearful conversations, my husband and I decided we'd have to sell the house. The one we bought about a year and a half ago.

The good news is that the realtors think they will be able to sell it for what we paid for it. The bad news is that we'll still lose a lot of money. Another "pro" is that we will finally be living in a house that we can afford, which means we will have discretionary income, for stuff like maternity clothes and vacations. (Give me a bone. A modest vacation later this year is all that's keeping me going right now.) Maybe our gas bill won't be over four hundred bucks in the winter (and that's with a house at 67.)

A "con" is that it will be work. A lot of work. For me to do, mostly by myself, as my husband works overtime during the actuarial busy season and studies for his next exam in May. For me to do after I do all the cooking, errands, and child care, plus the daily cleaning tasks. So pretty much, what I can't fit in during the day, in between, oh, practicing law, I will be doing after 9 p.m.

AND I CAN'T WAIT!

Seriously, I've been throwing a major pity party for myself over here. And the day-to-day stuff of life hasn't been easy, either. For example, I think my toddler has hidden my car keys. I think I remember seeing him this morning with them and thinking "oh.." right before I had to do something else. Aaanyway, they are in his intestinal tract (not really), or another dimension, or something. I looked for them for four hours today, scouring the house, searching all the toy bins, all the drawers, all the trash cans, everything. Nada. But of course this was AFTER I locked us out in the snow, and had to break one of the panes of glass in our back door to get in. And had to summon my husband home to let me borrow his car keys, since we have a keyless car (with a keyless thing that's $100 to replace). And screamed at my kid, causing him to follow me around, saying, "Mama? Mama?" pitifully.

So, there's a piece of cling wrap keeping out the icy icy draft, and there's another project for me to do! (I was thinking of replacing the pane -- it was cracked -- but it would be nice to choose if and when, you know?)

Ugh.